Neurosis of a Yeller Belly

'Friends With Kids': or 'Jennifer Westfeldt didn't just marry Jon Hamm and call it a day'

2012-01-12T15:21:00.000-08:00

As an ardent fan of Kissing Jessica Stein (my go-to movie to pop in when I'm feeling down. Well, that and Imagine Me and You--"Number Niiiiine", but that's another story), so from time to time I wonder to myself, "What is Jennifer Westfeldt doing?" And sometimes I see her on Jon Hamm's arm at an award show and I wonder, "Yeah, but what the hell is Jennifer doing?" The answer is this:

I will watch almost all romantic comedies, excepting ones with Reece Witherspoon (Kevin Smith ruined her for me) and Jennifer Lopez (don't ask, I don't have an even a tenuous explanation for that one). But there are soooo few good ones (I'm still recommending It's Complicated and The Proposal to people). So, I won't necessarily get my hopes up too high, but Maya Rudolph?, Kristen Wiig? C'mon! And Jennifer wrote and directed this, so just based on the principal of supporting a sistah (not the gay kind, just the lady kind), this might be an opening weekend watch. Jennifer Siebel Newsom, director of Miss Representation said "Go see movies that are written, directed and produced by women on the opening weekend." That is where we can affect change in what gets produced, not by renting the movie from Redbox! (And then go rent it from your local video store when it comes out on dvd.)

Might I suggest a change in your Desktop Wallpaper?

2011-11-30T23:24:00.000-08:00

What can I say? I love me some Lady Gaga...The other day I was just wondering when Gaga was going tohave her answer to Madonna's Sex book. Well...

And don't forget to watch the video of the Vanity Fair shoot she did with Annie Leibovitz for the January 2012 issue:

Some People Are Just Gay

2011-11-25T02:54:00.001-08:00

OK, so, there is a reason why I, once-upon-a-time, decided not to watch real life interviews with actors playing in TV shows I lurved. But, I got blind-sided. I went into a fan-girl tailspin over a new sci-fi Canadian show called Lost Girl about a bi-sexual succubus (played by Anna Silk) coming to terms with her identity, looking for love, and kicking demon ass. (Who wouldn't love that?!) While it hasn't aired in the U.S., it is already half-way through its second season in Canada. Which means, thanks to the joyful tear-inducing miracle that is the internet machine, I've been able to gorge myself on 23 (and counting) episodes of Succubusty glory. (Side note: write your Congressman and urge them to vote against the Stop Online Piracy Act) Having exhausted those, I moved on to YouTube videos of the actors, and as Julia Robert's would say, Big Mistake. Huge.

So, what's the big deal, you ask? Some super nice Canadian (isn't that redundant) actors sitting around being genial and trying to get people to watch their fantasy series about a society of super-human beings called the Fae (“Genus, not species”) comprised of, among other things, shifters, brownies, sirens--and those are just the ones you might've heard of...and that I could spell. But the thing is, I heard about this show through the lesbian not-so-underground (get the AfterEllen 411 on Lost Girl here). It has a growing lesbian following due to the relationship of the aforementioned succubus, Bo, to her human doctor, Lauren (played by Zoie Palmer). (You don't even have to use your subtext-y powers on this show! It's all right there getting jiggy in your face. Sooo awesome...) So during these press junket-y things the issue of sexuality was bound to come up in the questioning, but for some reason, I was left having post-traumatic stress flash-backs to the Lucy Lawless/Xena Warrior Princess press tour when she was still insisting that Xena and Gabrielle were not lesbians (insert groaning, eye-rolling, oh-puh-leeze here). OK, so it wasn’t quite as bad as that, but…

During the Fan Expo panel with the series regulars, an audience member asked the group as a whole to expound a bit on the sexuality of characters that haven't been explored as much. We get that Bo is bi-sexual, or omni-sexual (I think really she's in Margaret Cho's I'm-just-slutty- where's-my-parade club.), but what's up with the other people? So, this fan asked a meandering rather than pointed question which no one exactly understood (because we live in a hetero-normative society and it should be assumed that everyone is straight unless told otherwise), to which Kris Holden-Ried (Dyson) said “I'm a lesbian” Big laugh. Yeah, that’s so funny…Then Zoie Palmer took a stab at it:

What was sort of integral to the writers and the concept of, certainly this dynamic [Bo and Lauren], was that it was done in a truthful, realized way, and that it wasn't about two chicks getting it on, it was really about a relationship between two people. And I think what's so cool about this show is that it's never really talked about. We never talk about Lauren's sexuality and what she is ...For all we know she could end up with a guy next season. It's assumed she's gay, obviously, but...what I love so much about playing it is that it's never kind of an issue...It just is what it is...They're people who love each other.

Said like a true straight lady. OK, don't get me wrong, Zoie Palmer, you had me at “Please...come with me.” and I would totally have your lady-babies, but woah, seriously? Lauren could end up with a...what? Maybe you were thinking that Lauren was just taken in by Bo's Succubusty charms, but she liked her before ever getting Succutouched, and then why isn't Kenzi and everyone else falling all over themselves to get their faces sucked off. Yeah, I don't buy it. And while I can see that as an actor it would be easier to play an action, (in this case some sweet Doccubus love) than a trait (Like, how do you play “gay”. Which reminds me, can people please stop casting Julianne Moore as a lesbian? Thanks.), but sometimes people are just gay! Trust me. I've done a lot of practical research in this area. And, Grandma, if you're reading this: When you're gay, even when you meet a guy who's the bees knees, it ain't gonna happen. True love will not be in the cards. I'm sure many of you have had your own “Yep, I'm gay” moment. Or maybe for you it was a “Yep, I'm Straight” moment. Or maybe you straddled the fence but found no clarity--more power to you. And if you never even tried...I'm sorry.

So, unless, of course, one wants to make the case that not only is this a world where frost giants and furies roam the earth, but where everyone is a Kinsey 3, then, as soon as Dyson starts macking on dudes, you can have Lauren. But until that happens, Writers of Lost Girl, I beseech you, Can Lauren please JUST BE GAY? This may be too of a preemptive screed, but I just want to put this out there now to save myself the effort of having to throw virtual tomatoes at Canada at some point in the future. (Come on Canada, you have gay marriage fer crying out loud; throw us a bone!)

Also during this panel Anna Silk and Zoie Palmer alluded to the effort they had put in to creating a relationship that could stand up to Bo’s on-again-off-again relationship with wolf-shifter Dyson, but lately, I’m not seeing it. (How can you compete with fireworks-in-the-mouth wolf action?) And certainly not with the way the writers are writing the story and the way Anna Silk is playing it. Zoie Palmer’s playing for keeps, but Bo doesn’t even seem that into Lauren. She hasn’t even fed off Lauren once. (If you’re not familiar with the show…they do that. It’s cool. She doesn’t kill people…anymore.) So, that can’t be very satisfying. I wouldn’t even be so invested in Lauren being with Bo except for the fact that whoever ends up with Bo is going to get more screen time. (Just ask Kris Holden-Ried). But Lauren deserves better. I say, give her her own show! It could be like Body of Proof Fae-style. Lauren needs more screen time, not less.

According to a GLAAD report, less than 3% of scripted-series regulars are LGBT, and although that is a paltry number, relatively speaking, bi-sexual women abound. My very unscientific estimate is that there is ONE regular lesbian character on scripted network television. That would be Arizona Robbins on Grey's Anatomy. The rest of the ladies who love ladies also love them some stubble-faced men-folk. I think we all know, without employing the Pew Research Center, that women are perceived as having a more fluid sexuality than men, and are, hence, more available to said un-fluid men. (Which I’m sure accounts for the way the mass media decks are stacked.) And while that might be true, I don’t see EVERY straight women on television having occasional relations with other women (unless it’s sweeps), so I think TPTB should also respect the sexuality of women who love women and are past the coming-out story, they’re done experimenting, and yeah, like Ms. Palmer said, there doesn’t need to be a big discussion about it, they’re just…gay.

Doccubustless...or, nipple-less really

2011-11-24T22:20:00.001-08:00

So, we all know that sex scenes are choreographed as much as fight scenes...except people are in various stages of undress, but with a little suspension of disbelief the audience can still get caught up in the moment. Or, should, that's the point after all...but I seem to always find myself focusing on the wrong things. It's probably akin to walking in on a couple at an inopportune moment and uncomfortably offering, "Wow, your wallpaper is so nice." (I almost said rug, heh. That would have defeated my example.) Anyway, in this case, Lauren and Bo are getting it on in a super Doccubusty-lusty scene and I keep thinking, How do they keep their boobs where they're supposed to be?? Now if this was on HBO, this wouldn't be an issue. So, what do you think? Boob tape? Lighting? Just really careful placement of arms?

If they can turn Bo's eyes blue in post, I'm sure they can airbrush out a nipple here or there. It's a mystery. I guess I'll just have to watch this scene over and over until I figure it out... Hey, this is a purely technocratic exercise...

Right Wing-Nuts are Hi-jacking Health Care Debate

2009-08-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post this since the end of last week...Rachel Maddow has been following the right wing-nuts attempt to silence debate around health care, and I found last Friday's show to be particularly invigorating. I highly recommend watching the whole thing, but for a couple of the best segments, check these out:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Tiffani Thiessen has a shit ton of stuff going on!

2009-07-31T09:53:00.000-07:00

Not that I ever watched Saved By the Bell (ok, maybe, like, 2 times), but this is still funny. Especially if you've heard of the rumored Saved By the Bell reunion.

Tiffani Thiessen is Busy from Tiffani Thiessen

Erin McKeown has Cabin Fever

2009-07-09T15:28:00.000-07:00

If you are a fan of Erin McKeown (and if you're not, why not?), then I recommend that you check out her streaming concert series called Cabin Fever. The first show is in the can, but you can still catch it on demand for the next week. The there are three more shows. The streaming isn't of the best quality, but the audio was good, and that's what matters!

Here's the trailer for the series:

Project Rant and/or Happy Pride

2009-07-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

Project Rant has actors acting out internet rants. This isn't the only one, so if you want to check out some of the others, you should. I found this via AfterEllen.

Boycott Fox Broadcasting Company

2009-06-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

The time has come. It's not just that the Fox Broadcasting Company has this one channel that caters to the right wing, it's that the owners and operators of the Fox Broadcasting Company have an operation (Fox "News") that has absolutely NO interest in or relationship with the truth and, in fact, engender precisely the opposite. They trade in tirades and lies. They rile up their "base" to generate cash flow for the wealthy of their party and to make themselves feel powerful--which may also incite people to murder. But, who cares about that. They're not responsible for anything, because they're just "entertainers"--when it's a convenient moniker. And it's not just the news channel. Fox was the only network that opted not to air Obama's 3rd press conference. They went with their scheduled program, "Lie to Me", instead.

I know that a lot of people want to boycott Fox for many reasons--"The Family Guy" is insulting, Fox didn't let Ron Paul participate in the debates, Fox insulted Canada's military (?!)--but the real grievance that they have done to the world is to dispense lies, propaganda and incitements to violence under the guise of news. Package it as NEWS and give their vitriol an air of credibility and respectability. Call their product "news" and providing a cover to people's prejudice and willful ignorance. "It must be true, I saw it on the NEWS!"

At the very least, Fox should take the word "News" out of everything affiliated with the Fox "News" channel. And at best (Well, sort of best. Short of pulling the plug on the whole thing...) their shows would be required to state retractions, make clarifications, and tell the truth! I can't even pick just one example, but think Sotomayor's recent slandering.

No More "American Idol", no more "House, no more "American Dad", or whatever your cup of tea is. Fox needs to grow up and start helping to foster a good democracy and a good society, not tear it down. Whenever you turn on the Fox channel, you are supporting Fox News.

Visit the Fox News watchdog here for more evidence of malfeasance.

CODEPINK Protesters Confront War Criminal Donald Rumsfeld

2009-05-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

I've been watching this video over and over. It's very cathartic. Now if someone would just arrest him for real...

Jason somebody at HuffPo was said in his blog, "I...believe that just as crisis demands we not abandon our principles, our response to crisis demands we at least attempt to preserve a measure of dignity." WTF? People are dying every day--Americans, Iraqis, Afghans--largely because of these evil lying war mongers, and we're supposed to maintain our dignity, not raise our voices? F- that. Raise your voice! Scream to the heavens! These people are criminals, and they need to be tried for their crimes.

Lilith Fair 2010

2009-04-25T00:27:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about how Lilith Fair (among other feal-good events) were in hiding during the dark days of the Bush administration. And now word is that Lilith Fair is rising from the ashes. According to the head of Nettwork (Sarah McLachlan's label) via twitter, Lilith Fair will be coming back in 2010! Of course I'm excited, but where were they when our souls were being beaten black and blue by the evil doers and torture aficionados in our "elected" government? I don't really think that it was more than a coincidence. Sarah had a kid, at least the one, maybe more. But maybe there were other government related factors. Think about how hard it has been to get musicians into the country, eg Amy Winehouse, Alison Moyet (at least some of her musicians). And there was a passel of Cubans denied entry in 2002...So, maybe organizers figure that now musicians will actually be able to get into othe US to play Lilith Fair.

God, I am so glad to be done with that fascist fuckwit...

The Gaythering Storm

2009-04-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

The HRC obtained audition footage from The National Organization for Marriage's hunt for actors pretending to be straight people who are afraid of gay marriage: Rachel Maddow discusses it here at about 2:08 into the clip:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

THEN watch this great funny or die parody. "Gay people will start raining from the sky!"

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

Lindsay Lohan EHarmony Spoof

2009-04-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

File this under frivolous pop culture. Yeah, ok, it's Lindsay Lohan, but...it's funny. Or at least, mildly humorous.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

"Well, Who Wouldn't Want to Teabag John McCain?"

2009-04-13T21:33:00.001-07:00

The rich corporate fat-cats are trying to co-opt teabagging, which has long been a symbol for the power of the proletariat. Teabag them before they teabag us!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Maddow on FDA under Bush

2009-03-25T10:34:00.000-07:00

One (more) reason why I love government, and you should too, unless you like eating rat sausage and salmonella spinach.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Stewart vs.Cramer

2009-03-19T14:26:00.001-07:00

Jim Kramer get pummeled by Jon Stewart on the Daily Show and takes it like a little bitch--for which I am very grateful. Parts 2 and 3 are especially satisfying.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Pt. 1

comedycentral.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Pt. 2

comedycentral.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 3

comedycentral.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor

Two, count 'em TWO, upcoming movies with Zooey Deschanel

2009-03-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

April brings Gigantic with Paul Dano (from Little Miss Sunshine)--Yahoo trailer here.

And in July, 500 Days of Summer with Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Third Rock From the Sun, Mysterious Skin). And if you don't know who Zooey is...well, there's no hope for you.

Rachel Maddow talks with the authors of the Left Behind Series

2009-03-06T16:26:00.000-08:00

I don't even know what to say about this. These guys seemed nice enough though. Not like some of those assholes on Fox news or whatever. They had a nice chat about world socialism as a predicate to the coming Rapture and whether or not Obama is the anti-christ (they think not)... Crazy shit.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Janine Garofalo on Olbermann

2009-02-28T08:52:00.000-08:00

So, I'm posting this not so much for content (I don't so much care why more women don't like Rush, but one interesting note is that they are looking at why less women like him but not what I think is the more pertinent question: why do so many men like him?) but I freaking loooove Janine Garofalo! So, here she is on Olbermann a couple of nights ago:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

"Instead of Trusting Us to Make Decisions With Our Own Money..."

2009-02-25T09:20:00.000-08:00

Last night after watching the State of the Union, I commented on how Obama is a breath of fresh air (trite, but I really think it's the best way to put it.) And today I tainted my air, by listening to the republican rebuttal. (Have you noticed how the Nellies are falling all over themselves to get people of color to speak for them these days?) I'll sum up the following video for you:

Members of the Republican party also have parents who were from a far off land

The Republicans also want to be bi-partisan

The Stimulus Bill is too full of stimulus

Nellies want people to have the option to pay for their own Health Care

Nellies are against corruption

And finally: The best government is no government!

I really loved this gem: America is great in evidenced by the fact that "We defeated the Soviet menace". Really? Are they trying to evoke some kind of superhero image? Let me ponder this for a moment...

Ooooh, my heroes! I do like the Republicans better now. They just need to find a Wonder Woman who can reminds us of how heroic we were when we conquered the Nazis with our invisible airplane and truth lasso. That would be hot.

But I thought the real topper was the meme about government should leave "us" along to do with our money what we please. I wonder if this us is the us that flushed the banking system down the toilet. Or maybe it was just the less important uses that put all of our life savings into the stock market to get flushed down the toilet. Or is it the uses who don't have any life savings and are struggling to pay their monthly mortgage. I could go on and on, but I think the uses that he's talking about are wealthy business owners who have money in over-seas accounts and have private health insurance whose kids go to private schools and who don't want to see their taxes increase in order to increase access to decent schools and public transportation for others. But...that's just me.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

California legislation process sucks

2009-02-24T12:19:00.000-08:00

As a California resident for most of my life, I have come to view yearly budget impasses with a sort of non-chalance. I honestly haven't thought much about why this happens and, amazingly, have given little thought to how this could be different and why our state is so F'd up. That's why I found this segment on The Rachel Maddow show to be so enlightening. It was like the proverbial light bulb went on. Check it out, especially if you live in CA.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

So, what do you think of Strip clubs?

2009-02-05T12:30:00.000-08:00

I was reading Erin McKeown's post about a pissy email she received from some dude who took exception to her telling a story about visiting a strip club as a prelude to a song. The email is short so I'll include it here for reference:

While suffering through your sub-textually convoluted tale about nights at the Satin Doll, I was reminded of early African American movie actors who would make fools of their own race on camera.No matter how many jazz chord progressions and clever vocal inflections you employ, the conclusion is that you have tasked yourself to resound the message to a full house that it's acceptable to objectify other females for entertainment purposes.

Holding out a dollar bill to extort bizarre behavior from a fellow human being is beyond repugnant. Maybe you have a special - "Gee, I'm bored tonight" - clause in your moral code, that allows you to randomly minimalize others.

I came to the conclusion some time ago that not all misogynists are necessarily men.

So, to address the issue that "Holding out a dollar bill to extort bizarre behavior from a fellow human being is beyond repugnant" I'll just say that it's worse to go to a strip club without any singles! It reminds me of the time I went to a Fairy Butch show in SF (kind of a burlesque show, with some comedy, some match making, some strippers...) and a whole row of us lezzies where just horrified that a sweaty stripper was going to come over and rub all over us. Now, our behavior was repugnant. Fairy Butch must have seen our grimaces because in the next segment, dressed in counter-drag (dressed as a Lady) she laid all over all four of us....

OR, maybe it reminds me of the time I went to a fund-raising party for the Lusty Lady in SF. I felt bad for not getting a lap dance or participating in some mud-wrestling--because lady's gotta pay the rent--but I don't like to get sticky or dirty. But I bought a shirt!

Anyway, yes, I'm sure that some sex workers (I'm not going to differentiate right now), have had some kind of trauma in their life (and shit, who hasn't!) and the sex industry is a continuation of this in some way...but there are lawyers out there coercing their secretaries into having sex with them, does that mean that we're going to outlaw lawyers! OK, some might think that this is stretching and that some kind of unequal power dynamic is more apt to occur, or is even inherent in the sex industry and that it why it is singled out as being "mysoginistic", "repugnant", "degrading". I disagree.

I think that there are a couple of more important issues that are too big and burly that people would rather not talk about.
1) The pervasive misogyny in our culture--NO MATTER what industry it is. Women deal with that shit everywhere. One doesn't escape it by staying out of the sex industry.
2) OK, this is awkward because I don't usually go in for the goddess talk, but for #2 I'm going to say that the worse sin than giving a working lady a couple of singles, is not appreciating her, not appreciating her work, not valuing a woman's sexuality.
3) There are few industries that a woman can make as much money as a man. Deal with that! (Thank you, Mr Prez for the Lilly Ledbetter Act) I've worked a ton of jobs that, while nobody was twisting my arm to be there, I certainly would not have been if I had another great idea for how to pay my rent. There are myrid reasons for why people work jobs that they would rather not do. And there are some really lousy jobs out there, some pay better than others.

A slight tangent: I saw the movie, The Wrestler, recently. Marissa Tomei played an aging stripper, Cassidy, who is having trouble rustling up interest and Mickey Rourke plays an aging wrestler, Randy, who enters the ring to cheering, albeit small, crowds. I thought a lot about the juxtoposition of these characters. They both are exploiting their bodies, bodies which are not what they once were. And here Randy is, going out (literally) to cheers, and Cassidy dances to indifference--groups chatting amongst each other, individuals looking for a younger piece of ass. It was really interesting. Sad. Life. Check it out. AND TIP your stripper well!

Call your Representative today

2009-01-29T12:41:00.000-08:00

Here is the complete report.

This table was taken from Moody's Economy.com and it shows how a every dollar the government spends on...tax cuts, say, translates to $1.03 into the economy (wow, what an investment!) while $1 into infrastructure spending = $1.59 into the economy. The things will do the least for the economy are the things that the Republicans are pushing for and the things that will do the most are the things that the Nellies (Nellie the Elephant? Get it?) are ridiculing the Dems for--money for food stamps, transportation, family planning...

The watered down stimulus package has passed the House and is on the way to the Senate. Call or write your Senators if you want to see more infrastructure spending. It's easy! Trust me; I do it all the time!

Find your Senator

Open letter to any Democratic politician who will listen

2009-01-27T09:06:00.000-08:00

The Democrats have a tremendous amount of political capital and a mandate from the country to effect change, so PLEASE do not roll over and concede to the Republicans on the pending stimulus package. We need more infrastructure spending and less tax cuts if we are going to have any hope of turning this economy around. (Just ask the economic experts.)

If Democrats don't want to be ejected again--2010 could look a lot like 1994--then they need to start enacting some real Democratic-platform policies, not watered down Republican policy. Remember, the Republicans got spanked, so, Democrats should grow a pair and start acting like they WON. A wise man once said, "Elections have consequences."

More Thoughts on the Inauguration

2009-01-20T18:25:00.000-08:00

Wasn't Michelle cold wearing that dress and walking all over the capitol in the freezing cold? I hope she was at least wearing comfortable shoes.

President Carter looks good. He looks as young as Pres Clinton (who has been looking a little haggard of late). But then again Ted Kennedy was looking pretty good earlier in the day too...

What was up with that poet? Did they not audition for that job? And is Aretha the only black lady that can sing? Patti LaBelle is probably cursing her name. ("That bitch gets all the good presidential gigs!")

Hope (or, Inaugural Cheesiness)

2009-01-20T15:46:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling buoyed all day, and then for some reason I felt compelled to switch from MSNBC to Fox (Chris Mathews is kind of a dufus), and of course Fox would rather show W's self-congratulatory speech in Midlands Texas than the parade of bands, military regiments and sundry groups making their way past the White House.

sigh.

But back to to the Day....! Yippeee. I haven't really been feeling as excited during the build up to the inauguration--not as excited as I felt like I should I guess--but as the main events unfolded--Aretha sang, the strains of John Williams' "Air and Simple Gifts" and President Obama's speech--I welled up a number of times and have felt all day like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

One more cheesy link of the day. I kinda liked this video called "I Pledge", a professed open letter to Obama pledging celebrity support for Obama's call to service.

I promise to return another day with more cynicism.

Testing, Testing

2008-11-12T23:48:00.000-08:00

Man! It's been almost 2 years since I blogged anything, and the truly amazing thing is that Nothing has happened! OK, while not completely true, it's mostly true. I'm been pondering picking up the blog again, so this is more of an intro blog, than anything. So....more to come later, soon, sometime...wheeee.

No Blog in the New Year

2006-12-31T12:08:00.000-08:00

So, I'm going to start the new year out blog-less. Just to let you know, I'm killing this blog.

Happy New Year!

Autobiography in Five Short Paragraphs --Happy New Year

2006-12-30T16:59:00.000-08:00

This seemed like a good way to start the new year. Something that was passed on to me:

Autobiography in Five Short Paragraphs
—by Portia Nelson

(Stories for the Heart, 1996, ed. Alice Gray)
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk.I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my
fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
†
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in. I can't
believe I'm in the same place, but it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
†
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It's a
habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
†
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk. I walk around it.
†
I walk down a different street.

Amy Sedaris and MySpace

2006-12-17T13:21:00.000-08:00

Somehow I missed this Fresh Air interview with Amy Sedaris. I remedied that this morning. Check it.

In other news...you may never hear from me again as I may freeze to death at any moment. My renovated shack is getting pretty frigid. I can hardly type to add people to my myspace page. OK, so, myspace. I am very ambivalent about it. I keep getting accounts and cancelling them. I may stick with it this time because I'm such a groupie. I love having all my band lists consolidated and keeping up with who is playing where, yadda yadda. I am definitely not down with the distasteful comments on everyone's site. That's where my prudish side comes in. I'm down with the sex workers, not down with flash porn. Go figure.

OK, so, since there is a slim chance that I will post before Soltice or those other holidays, I will wish youse guys Happy Holidays!

Demo Revolution

2006-11-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

I feel quite remiss that I haven't mentioned anything about the recent election. But maybe that's just because I don't care? OK, maybe that's a bit much, but I think I do feel a bit heavy hearted that the Democratic party is now going to be responsible for cleaning up the republican mess of the last 6 years. Before that even, considering that Clinton was a "moderate" with a Republican congress. (Thanks for NAFTA!)

OK, so now we have to balance the budget, clean up the environment, get out of Iraq, make peace with Iran and North Korea...and we don't even have the executive branch! We're just going to get the flack if things don't shape up.

So, pardon me if I'm not joining the ticker-tape parade. I'm not leaving my bunker until I see how this travesty is going to play out.

I am happy that Nancy Pelosi is going to be Speaker. Just two bullets away...

Without a Doubt

2006-11-12T21:33:00.000-08:00

I had a fabulous few days in SF. I saw the Indigo Girls play with a full band (I think my ears are still recover--I wasn't equipped for the ruckus), I saw two decent movies and one great movie--Stranger Than Fiction, and the most fabulous and surprising event, I saw Doubt with Cherry Jones. Totally impressive. I wish I could go again. If I make it to SF again during the run, I will go again. They have reserved the first 2 pit rows for day-of sales with cash payment at the box office. It a huge deal. I feel extremely privileged to have had the opportunity to see Miss Jones perform. She's wonderful. And on top of it all, she has a really hot girlfriend!!

I Kiss you !!

2006-11-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

When I recently heard that someone was suing Sacha Baron Cohen for stealing his identity for the Borat charcter, I immediately knew who that individual must be and that, yes indeed, he was right. Remember the I Kiss You website that made the rounds in November of 1999? I revisited the page today and was taken back to the cubicle job I had at the time. Read this Salon page to recapture the Zeitgeist. Good stuff. SBC needs to pony up.

Now We Can Swim Any Day in November

2006-11-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

Even for Cali we've had record breaking days lately in the upper 80's, so I've had these Postal Service lyrics on my mind:

"And then last night i had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where concerns about the world getting warmer
The people thought they were just being rewarded
For treating others as they like to be treated
For obeying stop signs and curing diseases
For mailing letters with the address of the sender
Now we can swim any day in november"

This photo is kinda dated now. K-Mart has it all. I had to go there to get fall. Now I think we're going straight into winter.

What's Right With TV: 30 Rock

2006-10-29T10:15:00.000-08:00

OK, so first of all, I want to say that one of the reasons I never want to start watching new tv series is, there are no guarantees that the show isn't going to be yanked off the air after a handful of episodes, like my new favorite show Studio 60 (ok, maybe I just like it because Sarah Paulson is in it, but so?) But the other sketch-comedy-show-within-a-show show, 30 Rock is looking like it will have a longer life, and although I was non-plussed by the pilot episode, I thought the last episode was really funny. You can watch the latest episode every week on NBC's website. I'm also still watching Brothers and Sisters, kind of hard to get into, but I watch it for Rachel Griffiths and Sally Fields--fantastic actors. Then there's Battlestar Galactica, Weeds... What are y'all watching?

Oh, the Pressure

2006-10-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

overheard: "singers didn't use to have to compete with dead people."
said my mother whilst we were listening to Ella sing the Harold Arlen songbook. So true.

I recently purchased the complete Ella Fitzgerald songbook collection. Off the hook! I love Ella the mostest.

Media Matters - Buyer's remorse: The Bush story the press won't tell

2006-10-20T18:16:00.000-07:00

So, I feel like I've been negligent in keeping up with the political side of my blog. I think that I am just holding my breath, waiting for this administration to go away, waiting for mid-term elections. I was looking up Bush's rating (maybe just making sure that they were still in the toilet, and found this article.

OK, so at the intersection of politics and pop culture...the Dixie Chicks coming documentary. I am very close to buying the Chicks current album. I have a friend that gives it out for gifts all the time. She likes it, but there is something very political about that act. I have to say that I'm not a huge fan, but I did get chills watching them perform Not Ready to Make Nice on VH1 Storytellers (must watch clip in IE). I know I'm a total sap. Yep, I'm just a sentimental fool, easily swayed by trite harmonies and rebellious yet uplifting lyrics.

I also wanted to mention that you (meaning George) can now sign receive my blog through bloglines. Yippeee! Lemme know if the link doesn't work.

the duhks

2006-10-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

the duhks
Originally uploaded by calvo.

OK, so, I looove The Duhks (a Live Oak fave) and they are embarking on a west coast tour. I'm looking forward to it. They have a new album out (Buy it from your local independent music store!) Listen to their new album here. They're bluesy bluegrassy good fun, and I have a crush on every single one of them. They are so f-ing cool.

Brothers and Sisters on ABC

2006-10-13T23:46:00.000-07:00

OK, so I really like this show--which of course means that it will probably get cancelled, but I'm going to put a plug in for it--even though it has Calista Flockhart in it. And to be fair, she's not that bad. But watch it for Rachel Griffiths. I fucking love her. And Sally Field. She's so brilliant. The show is about a family coping with the recent death of their father and revelations that have been made... Anyway, it's very much a character-driven family drama. If you like Six Feet Under you should give it a try. OK, that's all about that. For now.

Update: Brothers and sisters was picked up for a year! yay!

Ani DiFranco Videos

2006-10-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

This site reminded me of how much I loooove Ani DiFranco. Especially old Ani. :)

I was trying to learn some guitar tabs and stumbled upon these old videos that I'd never seen before. Score.

How do I love Battlestar Galactica, Let me count the ways

2006-10-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

Last night was the premiere of Battlestar Galactica. I had sort of forgotten about it and luckily they broadcast it twice in a row. Being the SciFi channel, they will probably play it over and over through the week.

It's crazy, everyone is married, Starbucks eggs were harvested (saw that one coming), and that damn Colonel Tigh's wife-- I wish someone would take care of her.

I also saw Little Miss Sunshine for a 2nd time last night with a friend that hadn't seen it. That is my favorite movie so far this year.

It was a crazy night out last night. Strawberry cheesecake and jasmine tea....mmmmm.

Nellie McKay weekend

2006-10-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

Thursday Nellie played at Bimbo's in SF. The show was amazing, and all 2 of you who read this and didn't go, shame on you. I hope that a bootleg surfaces. I will, of course, let you know if that happens. Especially since I was fortunate enough to sing a duet of Beecharmer with her on stage. I immeditely went into shock and lost touch with my body for, like, 12 hours.

A couple of days after that, she accepted an In Defense of Animals’ Guardian Award at World Vegetarian Day at Golden Gate Park. I talked to her after her 3-song set and had this picture taken. I think only my "friends" can see it.

Nellie McKay at Bimbo's

2006-07-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I may have to quit my job and miss my mom's birthday, but I'm going to see Nellie McKay at Bimbo's on September 28th. And you should too. Hopefully, you've already listened to her and are in love with her like I am.

KCRW Music: Morning Becomes Eclectic

2006-07-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

I just listened to Brandi Carlile on Morning Becomes Eclectic. She's my favorite of the day, maybe even longer. Reminds me of Neko Case and and a rockier kd lang circa Drag or Hymns of the 49th Parallel.

Democracy Now! | Arundhati Roy on India, Iraq, U.S. Empire and Dissent

2006-06-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

I hope that every progressive person has heard of Arundhati Roy, but whether you have or haven't, this is a great interview with her from Democracy Now back in May. She's informative and inspirational. She's honest, thoughtful, realistic and eloquent. I loved her after reading The God of Small Things, but I loved her more after hearing her speak on political issues like Globalization and Empire. Listening to this interview is a good use of an hour.

2006-06-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

Jimmy Fallon & Parker Posey Pepsi Commercial

So, this isn't new, but I don't watch much live tv, so I'm going to pretend like it is. I've been dabbling in YouTube for awhile, but I've recently been on a kick. So have a lot of people I guess because I found a link to this on Pop Candy. Not that I wanna be hocking Pepsi (I don't drink soda), but it's pretty funny, and I do enjoy funny and creative commercials. There are also a lot of re-makes on YouTube, some are chuckle-worthy, while some are downright disturbing.

Splitsville for Sleater-Kinney

2006-06-28T14:53:00.000-07:00

sleater-kinney
Originally uploaded by divinehamer.

I'm feeling suprisingly heavy-hearted after hearing that Sleater-Kinney is breaking up. It's making me feel...old. Like it's time to grow up, have kids and do something respectable.

Stabbies and honorary Stabbies

2006-06-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

hanging in the shade
Originally uploaded by yellerbelly.

Another Live Oak down. This year I didn't take many pictures as it was so freakin' HOT. Stifling, sweltering heat is how I will remember Live Oak '06. I had brain melt, so I left a lot of the picture taking up to others. And I felt sorta disappointed by the music this year, but I did discover a cool new band, the Bills, hailing from Victoria, Canada.

But mostly I just enjoyed seeing all the folks that I don't get to see enough of.

Check It: Nellie McKay

2006-06-12T17:36:00.000-07:00

nellie smiles
Originally uploaded by eatsdirt.

My favorite favorite security blanket these days is Nellie McKay. She makes me so happy. I love her.

The ubiquitous tag line is "a cross between Eminem and Doris Day". I don't know about that, but she does spit some rap and also has a very pure voice in the 1st Alto/2nd Soprano range. Although, admirably, she doesn't believe in such restrictions--especially interesting since she writes her own stuff and ostensibly could write songs for herself in her range, but whatever. I find her vocal reaching and stretching endearing. Her first album, Get Away From Me is pretty eclectic, but a bit more 1950's/ 60's pop vocals than the new one which seems a bit more...modern, and rock/ pop like. She hasn't lost her political bent though. Someone commented on how there weren't as many funny, sarcastic quips on the new one, and she said that she thought she'd become less funny. So there. But I still like it, but maybe not quite as much as the first...yet.

If you even sort of like her, buy her album when it comes out this summer. She was dropped by her label last winter right before her album was supposed to come out (because they're jerks) and I heard she's going to be releasing it herself this summer. The best website for news is NellieMcKay.org

one paragraph at a time

2006-06-12T15:26:00.000-07:00

OK, so I haven't written anything in a million years, but I've been trying to think of something worthy to write about after such a long hiatus (really there are a lot of things) and this seemed like a great one. Check out Maya Stein's fabulous poetry on her blog one paragraph at a time and sign up to receive her gift of a poem in your inbox once a week. She is awesome!

My Dog Equivalent

2004-12-01T11:04:00.000-08:00

OK, so I don't know about this, but I took the What kind of dog are you test that Emdot linked to on her site, and it turns out that I'm a King Charles Spaniel AKA English Toy. It's certainly not what I'd look like if I got to pick.

Although I shouldn't be so superficial, all I can think about is all that hair. Alck! But they are said to be "bright and interested little dog, affectionate and willing to please." I guess that's not so bad...

Letter to Barbara Boxer

2004-11-19T13:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Senator Boxer,

I am writing to you today because I need to feel that there is someone at the federal level that actually cares if justice is carried out in this country and in the electoral process at hand. Yes, I am disappointed that the candidate I supported didn't win. And yes, I am upset that as a minority in this country I am reviled and discriminated against. But more than that, I am profoundly wounded by the fact that my one vote, and the votes of my friends and allies, may not be counted in many states in this country.

There is a cherished belief that if the people of this nation can envision a better world and a better country, they can come together and help create it by electing honorable people who serve as their voice at the global table. When votes are thrown away as ‘spoiled’ or intended votes are tampered with, voices are repressed, and it dashes those dreams.

Voter turnout has been steadily declining, which many believe to be in favor of the Republican party. But it is not in the favor of democracy, and it is not in the favor of a just, fair and hopeful society.

I am writing, not just to air my grievances and conspiracy theories, I am writing to urge you to be a voice of the disenfranchised. I feel that your state has been disenfranchised and will continue to be until there is major election reform. We have no right touting our progressive and superior Democracy in the United States when it is in fact no such thing. The Electoral College aside, the fact is the votes of the people are Not Being Counted.

If it comes to it, perhaps all ballots should be hand counted if that's what it takes to achieve a correct and fair outcome. There was, of course, a time before Diebold machines, punch-cards and the like. I'm not really suggesting this, but I am suggesting that our appetite for nice, neat outcomes and immediate results is fatally overshadowing our commitment to democracy.

As a player in Washington, you may have an insight into the machinations of the Republican Party and their ongoing shenanigans to remain in power, as evinced by their actions in Florida in 2000. I hope that there is something that can be done to curb the current trend or the corporations will indeed control our government, and we will be a democracy in name only.

Thank you for your time and your diligent work on our behalf.

Sorry World

2004-11-18T18:23:00.000-08:00

sorry world wall
Originally uploaded by yellerbelly.

Check out the Sorry Everybody web site. There are soooo many pictures. It's unbelievable.. I really love how quickly people can mobilize through the internet. I really thought that would be an advantage for the dems this time out. I guess the republicans figured out how to turn on the computer. I guess that's how they can plot abortion hospital bombings and white collar investment scams. OK, yes, I'm bitter!

I find that some people are surprised that I haven't moved out of my mourning phase. Forget it. I'm going to be grouching about it for at least the next four years. If I move to another country, I'll still be grouching about it. Maybe that's not the best energy to be putting out there. The pundits have been saying that Demos need to be more Positive. Apparently we have to stop spewing anti-Republican rhetoric and only talk about sun-shiney things.

Well, remember how Kerry decided to take the high road in the Democratic Convention and then the Republicans skewered him at their convention. No, this is just a big set-up to get us off the offensive and then they will really stick it to us.

Oh yeah, I'm officially a big time conspiracy theorist. I have no doubt that the most nefarious deeds are taking place behind closed doors and there is a good chance that the last election was rigged. There I said it.

A Superior Sunset

2004-11-15T19:12:00.000-08:00

A Superior Sunset
Originally uploaded by CaptPiper.

OK, so I've gotten into Flickr, and I like the community aspect of it. Today I was looking at the sun pictures and happened across a woman's photos that were really beautiful, and she had a link to her blog yadda yadda. Anyway, she has an election day post talking about her election day anxiety. "It felt like a Twilight Zone Christmas because instead of wondering what St. Nicolas brought, you wonder whether it was Santa or Satan who visited your house last night." I can totally sympathize. And then, oh, wasn't she relieved when she learned that Santa had been there! Wow, I had no idea. I should be soooo thankful!

But really, all my warm fuzzy flickr feelings disappeared, and I thought "Wolf in Sheeps clothing!" Who is this imposter. This Judas posing as an Artiste. But then, her pictures were good...so, grumble grumble...

US Purple Cartogram

2004-11-15T18:10:00.000-08:00

US Purple Cartogram
Originally uploaded by yellerbelly.

I was so depressed about all the maps that came out after the election, but they were flawed in a few ways, they didn't account for population (which a cartogram does) and even if a state or county was won by bush by a point, it was fire truck red. I like this one the best. But there are lots that put a smile on my face. Check out Robert J. Vanderbei's original site, and the plethora of fun cartograms by the folks at the University of Michigan.

Prepare for Life in a Police State

2004-11-04T16:57:00.000-08:00

OK.

Faced with my future life in a police state, I've decided to take up blogging as therapy (cuz once a week with my paid one isn't going to cut it.) We'll see how long this lasts. emdot told me that I needed to write everyday, and since I got that directive, I haven't put pen to paper or finger to keyboard once.

So, here goes....

I've spent the last two days in the fetal position. When I look at all that red, all I see is intolerance. I see people who are willing to hand over their money, and their freedom to a war-mongering imperialist in exchange for the hope that he will ensure that gay people will not be given governmental benefits granted to married people, and the hope that abortion will be outlawed.

The thing is, the good people of this country, left without health insurance, left with an increasingly illiterate electorate, left with longer working hours for less pay...they can not stop gay people from getting married. That is part of the separation of church and state. Marriage is not up to the government. Marriage is up to the individuals envolved, it is up to the church that they belong to, and the minister, friend, or stranger that marries them. Yes, they may keep them from having custody of their children or stop them from seeing their partner in the hospital if a tragedy should befall them. But they will not be able to irradicate homosexuality or commitment. That is their aim and it will NEVER happen.

And abortion...it's always been around. If they want to keep qualified doctors from performing abortions, they can leave it up to amateur quacks. They can gloat smugly when they read about young girls dying in back alleys. Oh wait, they won't read about that. The media will be solely owned and operated by a covert arm of the government. Alright, I'll stop before I get to 'conspiracy theorist'... I'll save that for another day.

So when I look at the Red Sea, it makes me sad. They are depriving only themselves from a better life. And I'm also sad that, we as a country, are separated that way--blue and red. Only 54% of 'super-liberal' California voted for Kerry. And my home county of San Luis Obispo, CA would have elected Bush. The electoral college is another way of pitting the Heartland against us crazy liberals. I'm so fucking sorry for wanting EVERYONE to be educated and have health care and to be free from persecution for speaking their mind. I want simple things... What is wrong with everyone?

2003-09-16T12:20:00.000-07:00

So, something kinda cool happened. I got accepted to a program called Digital Directions at the Bay Area Video Coalition. I also told my manager that I'm stepping down. That means no more 50 hour weeks for me and no more crazy schedules. I'm very excited. This also means a lot less money. But whatever. It's bad to get caught up with such nonsense.

I've also been continuing to work on my soccer project. The women's pro league has just been cancelled. They announced this days before the world cup is starting. I think that sucks, but I think that it's kind of a ploy to get corporate sponsors to step up and support them. It's really disappointing and I feel badly for the players.

2003-08-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I thought I was going camping on the Russian River. So I packed all my little camping necessities and bunches of squirrel food cuz I didn't have a stove or anything. Turns out out I was going GAY camping. I should have known being that it was Guerneville and all, the North Bay gay resort.

The 'camp ground' was a relatively small, consisting of nicely manicured lawns with a picnic table per every few camp sites. The sites were about 10X10. And instead of redwoods there were fruit trees scattered about. I made sure not to pitch my tent on the plum guts lying about and at night I heard the sound of apples plunking to the ground. Also there were no fire pits in sight although I read that there was a group bonfire night which I didn't attend. My friends who were camped out further down the way were kept up all night by the techno dance party churning out the gay faves.

Aside from the shock of my sissy surroundings, I was glad that the bathroom was nearby, there were hot showers available, I was forced to make friends with my nelly neighbors (complete with rainbow flag and leather body harness hanging off a tent, and all the queers one could ever hope for. I'm just never around enough gay people in San Francisco.

There was no seclusion to be found and my friends got caught with their pants down in what they thought was a secluded nook. But I'm sure they weren't the only ones trying to cop a feel as there was travel lube packaging on the asphalt pathway.

On day two we got kayaks and made our way down stream. My partner purchased an inflatable kayak which supposedly is great for rapids, but apparently is not so fabulous on placid shallow lakes. So, we trundled along leagues behind our gang. The slightest wind sent us spinning in circles and the river offered us to aid in reaching our destination. There were people paddling upstream as fast as we were paddling down, or as fast as P. rowed. I was little help. I was more of a hood ornament. Best part of the trip. The scenery was gorgeous, and well worth having to listen to P. complain. :)

2003-08-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

I have a tendency to speak before thinking. It's a huge fault. Anecdote to follow:

The other day I went to see Erin McKeown, who I think is fabulous. During the show I became more and more convinced that I wanted to discuss her career trajectory. So, after the show I went to her and I asked her why she wasn't playing bigger venues. (She's been playing small clubs for years, and I think she's destined for bigger things.) She said that I should talk to her manager who was sitting nearby. Well, then I asked her a final question. Did she have a problem courting the gay media. (I didn't ask if she was gay. I figured that question would answer itself.) About the media she said that she didn't have a problem with them, but they rejected her because she refused to talk about her personal life. At this point I had mentally written her off as one of those closet cases unworthy of my promotional efforts. But as I was leaving, and against my better judgement, I went up to her manager and had words. Because why make one enemy when I could make two. I told her manager basically the same thing. She got so upset she started to speak heatedly about how I didn't understand how hard it was, how hard they worked, etc. So, I started to feel badly and back-peddled... I did understand yadda yadda. But maybe I didn't understand.

Basically, I think Erin should hitch herself to a little gay star and milk it for all it's worth. Hey, if she's happy doing what she's doing then I can't fault her for that, but there are two issues here. The age old to-come-out-or-not-to-come-out morality question and then the how to get famous question. I discussed the latter with a straight musician friend of mine. She was all for it. In fact she had patronized the Lexington trying to recruit an audience. She butched herself up for the event, but she said that they could see through her and that they knew she wasn't gay. It was a bust.

I know this is a cynical view to take, but it's practical. Lesbians are hella loyal, and one would be lucky to have them on your side. Erin's crowd was a bunch of staid middle-age bores who didn't dance to anything. Why would anyone chose that kind of demographic. Now the Gossip show a few days later... but we'll get to that later. So, I left feeling horrible. I was really trying to do something good, but I just made everyone feel badly. My friend said that maybe it was a good thing and maybe Erin will re-consider her pro-closet stance. I don't know. whatever. I'm an evil person. Right now I'm listening to a stream of Erin on Morning Becomes Eclectic. She's so cool. Not my type though. ;)

2003-07-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

Last night my friend E and I saw Liz Phair at the Fillmore. I wasn't expecting much because her stage fright etc. is well documented, but she's one of the few people that I've never seen, so I had to go. E totally called her outfit. She was wearing a short skirt, knee-high come fuck me heel-boots. I'm totally stuck in the early 90's, so I said, uh, jeans and sneakers?

The good thing is that she played lots of old songs, so I wasn't disappointed at all. The not-so-fabulous thing is that a lot of the spare productions from Exile in Guyville were muddied up by full band arrangements which made her garage-style vocals seem very out of place and accentuated her off-key-ness. But if you like, go here to see a video of her on Morning Becomes Eclectic Scroll down and you'll see her.

2003-02-06T12:07:00.000-08:00

I've been trying for an eternity to get a group together to play a board game with me, Settlers of Catan. And the more my attempts are thwarted, the more I become psycho-obssessed about playing the game. Last night I thought the groundwork was laid and I was sure that we were going to play. But then plans were made to meet at a bar (wrong off the bat) and then we moved on to a new bar--a smokey one at that where I copped an attitude with the bartender about the proliferation of smokers. We're in California fer chrissake, I don't have to put up with this! So I sat sullenly against the wall with my game under one arm, sipping water with my nose in my Myers-Briggs personality book.

2003-02-01T05:24:00.000-08:00

read this column in which Kevin Smith disses Reese Witherspoon. Very Funny.

A friend of mine recommended a few books to me, and I haven't decided if she's trustworthy for that sort of thing yet. She doesn't like Sarah Vowell, didn't like Adaptation, liked the Hours...Jesus, I don't think that we have a thing in common, and yet, I'm forging ahead with one of her recommendations, Michael Cunningham's A Home at the End of the World. I identified with this one sentence, so I wanted to share.

"Adam alternated between listening to me and staring at the people sitting at other tables, with the unabashed directness of one who believes his own unimportance renders him invisible."

For an unrepentant starer, I find this to be an interesting and somewhat profound description of my favorite pastime.

2003-01-19T04:35:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was settling in to a night of web browsing, when I came across a listing stating that one of my favorite singers was performing across town tonight--starting half an hour before. So, I started panicking. Should I get dress and race across town and then be disappointed because her set is over (this happened to me once before with the same artist a couple of months ago) or should I stay in my cozy pajamas?

I called the club, and the person who answered said that Tami had just finished her second song and if I came right now I could catch most of her set. I was skeptical, but got in the car, drove down the street, decided to take a cab so as not to have to deal with parking, parked, changed my mind, got back in the car, drove to the club, searched for parking for 5-10 minutes, and finally got to the club.

Of course she was done playing. This is no cliff hanger. I knew it would be so in my heart of hearts, but I was holding on to my shred of hope. I decided to ferret out the singer and give her a berating for not playing longer. She was fabulous and sweet (the only work for it) I told her how disappointed I was that I missed her and she apologized, asking if I was the one that called. She then asked if I'd like her to play a song for me. I envisioned Tami on stage dedicating a song to me. I would get starry-eyed and bask in the over-flow of her spotlight. Then she asked if it was weird if she played for me in the bathroom. "No, not at all." yeah, totally weird, but romantic in it's own down and dirty way.

Well, we didn't end up in the bathroom. It was an office of sorts turned into the greenroom for the night. I requested a song from her first album, Light in August, which she played on an unplugged electric guitar, practically whispering the lyrics at times so as not to disturb the band on stage. "They won't hear you," I told her, which seemed to free her up a bit.

Something about the proximity of our bodies, the unorthodox nature of my impromptu concert, and my insistence upon making inane conversation made me feel like we were doing something illicit.

I stayed for the next act, a brilliant woman playing under the moniker Bonfire Madigan. This was one of those nights that made me feel distinctly shitty about what I am doing or not doing with my life. I didn't even go to the peace rally today because I had to sleep all day. Life is hard for vampires.

2003-01-14T20:42:00.000-08:00

I think that stories of vampires must have been started about people working graveyard shifts.

Every day after I'm finished working I try to rush home before the gold off the sun washes over the Bay. There is a short window of time in which I can settle in for a good night's sleep and pretend that it is still night. If I don't make it, I feel sick and dirty--flopping into bed all grimy. Who stays up all night and sleeps away the day? Losers. Certainly not the early bird catching the worm. Nope.

That's how I felt this morning as I stumbled into bed at 9 am, light washing my room in a sickening mauve collected from my sheer curtains.

It's not just sleeping through daylight hours that evokes images of vampires for me. I think that night workers are emotionally unstable. There is a lot of night time going on at my work. Two girls got fired for threatening eatch other. One wanted to shank the other one in the parking lot with her box cutter. One guy accused another of being some secret agent.He got all crazy eyed--the way only people with electric blue eyes can get--and said that he wouldn't want him following him home late at night.

Maybe it's a lack of melatonin--a supplement that I am taking by the way. There was a study that showed that women who worked weird swing hours were more prone to certain types of cancers. But then, there's a study for everything. I'm sure it messes you up though. I believe in staying in tune to your body's natural rhythms. I don't like to stay up too late or get up too early.

Maybe it's the hours or maybe it's all that hip hop we listen to at night. Eminem makes people want to kill.